The Blog Where Awkward Moments Are Documented.

It's taking a lot of getting use to

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:30:19 -0400

Eating all of this organic shit.

I know it will be worth it.

HOW YA’LL LIKE MY KICKS. THEY’RE SLAMMIN’, I...

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:22:27 -0400

HOW YA’LL LIKE MY KICKS.

THEY’RE SLAMMIN’, I KNOW.

Poptart is getting so fat. I tried putting him on a diet and...

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:19:32 -0400

Poptart is getting so fat.

I tried putting him on a diet and he attacked me.

Never again.

Chicken stir fry and a smoothie are waiting for me in the fridge.

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:17:23 -0400

Lunch is going to be so awesome.

Kayla calls customer

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:14:43 -0400

Customer tells Kayla to stop calling them.

Kayla forgets.

Kayla calls again to let them know a service has been scheduled

Customer answers and says “FUCK YOU! YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME”

Kayla goes in bathroom and cries on the toilet.

pasfolichon: Oh dailygrace, you steal the words out of my mouth...

Mon, 20 May 2013 11:12:00 -0400

pasfolichon:

Oh dailygrace, you steal the words out of my mouth sometimes.

“If you don’t know what bandeau tops are, it’s a strip of cloth that goes across your tits and then they’re best paired with tank tops that go down to [your waist] so you can…see the cloth. Bandeau tops are a really great opportunity for girls to look like their tits got burned off in some sort of like soup accident and then they had to put an ace bandage across it and a tank top over the top of it. CUTE”

I’ve always thought this. Brilliant.

I don't know how my brother and I are related.

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:31:55 -0400

He’s this big nasty redneck that takes mirror pics of his body.

And then I’m in the corner being awesome making fun of everyone.

Something doesn’t add up.

owemyeye: I wanna hangout with Kayla and Jordan I’m so honored.

Mon, 20 May 2013 00:27:13 -0400

owemyeye:

I wanna hangout with Kayla and Jordan

I’m so honored.

I'm drunk in Jordan's house eating couscous.

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:31:56 -0400

I don’t even know what life is anymore.

It’s a beautiful day to go 20 miles under the speed limit.

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:06:20 -0400

It’s a beautiful day to go 20 miles under the speed limit.

Text I got from my mom.

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:50:18 -0400

Text I got from my mom.

When I go days without posting anything

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:22:28 -0400

I get about 5 followers from that.

When I post things that pertain to my life, I lose 5 followers.

WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID.

9gag: I knew it! Follow @8factapp to know what you don’t...

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:20:48 -0400

9gag:

I knew it! Follow @8factapp to know what you don’t know.

I KNEW I WAS SPECIAL

I GET TO CLEAN POPTART'S LITTER BOX TODAY SO EXCITED.

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:16:57 -0400

Yesterday Jordan and I went to the beach and fought the whole way and hated each other all day long then we went home and showered and got dressed and went to eat thai food and watched the Goonies and then we loved each other again.

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:15:20 -0400

Jordan doing yard work. Such a mans man.

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:22:06 -0400

Jordan doing yard work. Such a mans man.

Sometimes I feel like I need a secretary.

Thu, 16 May 2013 23:34:54 -0400

Just to handle this blog.

I have a lot of funny things happen to me each day.

I just get so tired and don’t feel like typing them up.

Instead I post about food.

For the past 48 hours I've only had three hours of sleep in total.

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:43:35 -0400

I just saw a dust particle floating in the air and I thought it was Jesus.

ferg-face: people who go on the internet to post about how they “hate lil wayne/drake” are the...

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:40:32 -0400

ferg-face:

people who go on the internet to post about how they “hate lil wayne/drake” are the worst

I dislike them immensely.

Is that better?

While on the phone with a customer they asked me if I was my...

Wed, 15 May 2013 00:06:47 -0400

While on the phone with a customer they asked me if I was my mom’s daughter.

I told her this, and her response just struck me as funny.